Chinese Tea Pots

I love chinese food. I eat Chinese pretty much a few times a week. I particularly love Yum Cha. Yum Cha is probably my favourite food.

I understand that the translation of Yum Cha in Chinese is actually “drink tea”.  Of course drinking tea is an enjoyable part of a chinese meal. It’s nice to be given those nice white chinese tea pots so that you can pour some lovely tea in your fucking tea cup. That would be if the tea cups would actually pour tea in a normal human way.  Lost me? Allow me to explain.

This is a tea pot:


This is the way you would expect tea to pour when using the tea pot:


This is how ALL chinese tea pots actually pour:


Now you could be forgiven for thinking that not all chinese tea pots pour like this, and that perhaps it’s an issue of technique. Perhaps it’s how you do it that makes the difference. No. I once thought that too, but no. They just pour like that, no matter what you do.

Seriously, how many things is a tea pot expected to do?  I can count one: Pour fucking tea. And how many things does it actually do? NONE.

What was the quality control process involved in the making of this tea pot? How did this get pass the testers? “Let’s see. Looks like a tea pot. I’ll try and pour some tea. OH FUCK the scalding hot water burned my skin and has scarred me for life, oh jesus christ get me to a hospital!” *TICK, APPROVED*.

And the guy who invented them is probably a billionaire. The same type of tea pot seems to be used everywhere. The same broken teapot. The one that doesn’t work. It makes me happy.